Do it with love

Do not do it as a chore

I mean who likes to do household chores, so don't make this a chore you get tired of. Do it with love, have fun and celebrate your love. If you cannot do it with love then don't do it at all... simple. Because no child should be brought into this world without love. No child should be brought into this world out of wedlock and even if you and your partner are married, that is no reason to bring the baby into this world if you do not love each other.


I heard that it takes a village to raise a child,
but today the child is lucky if he gets the love of both parents and grands parents. Women, in general are so adamant about asserting their independence that they tend to raise a wall around them and keep everyone out, the result, kids are being robbed of the love and affection. There could be many arguments and misunderstandings in a family but to rob a child of love is an unforgivable sin. A child needs the love of both father and mother, it needs to cuddle in the arms of grandparents and feel safe, it needs the companionship of siblings and cousins to grow and bloom, it needs to know that the world is full of different kinds of people, not just motherand father; they need to develop their social skills so friends and relatives are also important. Raise a child in a friendly and loving environment and that means the love and support of everyone close to you.

Raising a baby is a tiresome business, yes it is blissful and beautiful but it is also true that this needs a considerable time and patience. Those sleepless nights take the toll on you in a way you never thought possible, sometimes you feel like sleeping all day without a care in the world and during those times you need to make sure your child is in responsible hands, who you trust. It is hard enough to do it with the love and support of your partner, but to think you do not love your partner and having the child will only feel like a burden and it is the most unjust thing you will be doing for your child. 

Do not take stress

If you are trying to conceive, don't take stress...

That's easier said than done ain't it? What with all your friends having their little ones running around. When they call you to their child's birthday and all you do is watch your friends chasing and complaining about how busy life has been with their kids and all you wish was when would such a time come for you, when you would fuss and complain about your kids. Going to kids stores only to buy gifts for others children, while those cute little baby dresses mock you on their hangers. Unable to attend bfamily gatherings because all everyone seem to care is when will there be a little one in your arms. Family gathers can be tiresome, what with all those nosy relatives who want to know the reason for not conceiving,
'is it pill? Don't use them' ;
'you are not getting any younger you know',
yes I know,...

While your in-laws make sure to announce infront of everyone how they would really love to have a grand child. While there are those relatives who feel that is their duty to push blame on the other party, which helps exactly the way petrol would help to put out fires. There are also those who are so very curious about other people's private lives. I remember someone asking me 'how many times do you do it in a week',... That's kind of personal don't you think, but after a while when I kept thinking about that question I started to doubt, how many times should we do it in a week to get pregnant, argh... I should have asked her... you stupid woman. When I shared this piece of information with my husband, he smiled at me and said 'you are an educated woman, don't you know that it's not how many times you do it but when you do it that matters' that was when I felt really stupid. See it's easy to get side tracked if you are not careful, like now,... so where were we... yes... not to get stressed is the key different people suggest different techniques to de-stress, yoga, meditation, herbal tea, me... I decided to train my mind into thinking that if you do not have kids then it is not the end of the world. I taught myself that if I don't have a baby of my own I could always adopt. I mean that there are thousands of children out there who are orphans and looking for a decent family and loving parents, if I could love and care for at least one of them I would be doing myself a huge favour and in the process help someone. I always remember seeing a poster in my youth of Yashoda Krishna and underneath it the quotation that read "Adopt, you never know who you might bring home".

Inspiring, isn't it, I always that I could not have one of my own I would adopt for sure and bring home a child and tell him stories of krishna, superman, spiderman... don't know half the super heroes are adopted when you come to think of it. Yes, there would be some real difficulties in all fronts, but if you are determined and be able to love with your whole heart, nothing is difficult. Anyway that's a thought, something to ease your mind, makes you strong to think that even if you do not have a child you still have a purpose in the world.